A BLOG BY

ADHY NUGROHO

A Note of My Insecurity

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Once I heard an imperative voice that said I couldn't be here anymore, waiting while doing nothing. Even though rain was falling heavily outside. Then I moved, ran under the rain. But on my way after I decided, there's always another voice said that I will die at that time. In some cases, I'm stuck.

Another problem is when I wake up, I always regret why did I sleep for 12 hours a day, even I could use the time to keep moving. However, I can't justify that that was not my decision. If all of these things I passed were gambling, now I have lost much. I'm not moved. In the end, I will always trust that today is my last day, I will die now.

When I'm stuck, it's because I'm afraid of being dead, and lost of my control over myself. I'm insecure; from all of the words I write and speak, sometimes I believe that I could be more than those, but afraid.
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